April Fools

Mike's walking around with tape on his butt saying somebody slap me.
I took him up on that
If the boys play any tricks on me I will poison them tonight (I'm cooking dinner).
Ahh such power I have
Gene walks around the house singing in his country twang night and day. Annoying...perhaps, but I find it utterly adorable that a guy like him is so in love with hillbilly country music.
Funny things do happen
And Hik rewrote my Information Overload poem into something totally pervy. He's such a joy. I'll post both here.
The original was written to the Jt. and Jr. Teen girls...I was teaching them as they were doing their schoolbooks and the muse hit me
So I dedicate it to them

Eyes wide shut in jaded dance
My brain is but a fogged expanse
Of sight and sound without much sense
What I have found at calm's expense
So out of mind I fly away
And leave behind in shaded grey
Confusion rife at every turn
This thing called life I've come to spurn

And now for his silly rendition:

Hands wide shut inside my pants
Searching grasping for my lance
A sturdy Oak? Mastiff immense..
But what I find, not worth six pence!
So out of pants hands fly away
And leave my stub alone to play
Protrusion small and leftward turned
This thing my wife has come to spurn!

Again I say...the intelligence of men.
Cheers :)

I miss you

I wrote this last night in about five minutes
And no, it wasn't to anyone in particular (maybe just a bunch of ghosts of boyfriends past all heaped into one)

I miss you
Does it frighten you to see such naked emotion
Displayed by the one you accused of having no heart
I miss you
Does it surprise you to know that I haven't let myself
Forget even the smallest details of your body and face
I miss you
Does it worry you to see my usual self-possessed exterior
Reduced to a heap of uncontrolled emotions and tearful reminiscing
I miss you
But heaven forbid you worry your pretty little head over me
I'll be calm, cool and collected…..in a minute.

concerts

I've been gone the last few days, thus the lack of posting here.
We were doing 3 days of major concerts for children with a famous Japanese Anime singer and another group of performers. It was very different but went well. Kind of like being in the "big time" ha
We're going on tour with them for about two weeks in August down to Hiroshima, Okayama and a few other southern islands and cities. Am pretty excited about that.
I got sick, tho on the second day of the concerts. Pretty nasty. I was so stuffed up and sounded horrible..sore throat and all. My voice was as nasal as it could be. HIDEOUS. But the Lord did it miraculously and I got through both performances (we did two concerts a day) without incident. Tho I don't think I sounded very pleasant.
The people were really interesting, cool and receptive. I enjoyed it immensly.
FREEDAY...I'm still under the weather so will not do much of anything today.
Shout out to Vesna, happy 25th!!!! Love you!
PS:
Alisa I can't get through to your email. Is there another address I can write you at????

Absolut Stupidity...(there should be a Vodka named that...)

11pm Freenite
I am now going to write the first things that come to my head.
This post will probably be short and not make much sense... and may seem stupid to some, but at the moment, I don't really care. (thank the Vodka....It's freenight, cut me some slack)
I don't like dogs. They scare me. They're needy creatures. I don't like excessively needy specimens. I once heard from a friend that you could tell a person's personality type by which animal they would choose for a house pet. Dog lovers are the type that need to be wanted, needed and petted by someone constantly... Cat lovers on the other hand are the independent types. They like a person who knows how to take care of themselves...keep themselves clean and not have to be potty trained. I quite like cats. ha ha

Wow my insight and intelligence astounds me sometimes.

Sometimes I'm a very clumsy person. I have this shelf where I keep my hair spray and deodorant...both are the same size bottles. Twice recently I found myself picking up the wrong bottle and using hairspray instead of deodorant...I'm just that stupid at times.
Why did I just share that with the world????
Okay now I'm realizing how stupid this post is, so I will quite while I am ahead. (or a foot) ha ha
oops...now I'm becoming banal.
Goodnight
I will post something intelligent really soon, promise.

tears

It's been six years today.
I remember it like yesterday.
You were here then gone in a second. I wasn't even home during the first fateful minutes. But what followed will be forever printed on my heart.
I blamed myself and wished that I could have loved and cared for you more while you were still with us..you a helpless little baby who was purity itself and nothing but loveable. I can't bring you back or change the past. So I go on and remind myself to live life remembering that it could all be gone in an instant.
You were like a sakura tree...you bloomed only for a short time, but made our world so beautiful while you were with us.

For the Littlest Ghost of Inokashira:

Do you ever come back here
Where we so loved, both,
And were loved?
And are you sometimes loathe
To leave what no one could love
Like we who lived here, dear?

Do you sometimes wander
Quietly, softly, the halls,
In the moonlight,
Where we walked and called
And sang you the midnight lullabies
That echo in That far yonder?

And do you steal, when we sleep,
To our beds? We who so loved
You whilst you lived;
To bless our dreams of we who strove
To keep you here, and who at last
Let go that treasure? We who weep,

We who must go bravely on
Without the joy of your presence.
If you can bear
To leave the happiness of heaven,
Come to us, love! We miss you here.
Farewells are hard, and nights are long.

(the above was written by my sister Suzy)

We miss you and love you Charlene, our little sister angel. Thank you for coming and making our world beautiful while you were here.
I thank you that your death at that particular time was a wake up call to me in my anorexic near dead state. I realised then how painful the passing of a loved one could be. I thank the Lord for using your life and passing as a way to save my life and help me. May I never forget what you and He taught me.
May I love and live as if every day was my last.

Happy Birthday Chris

My wonderful little brother is having his 21st Birthday today...
So I send much love to you Chris and hope that your next year is a great one....
I miss you HANEY....(said in a very silly Japanese accent)
You're finally legal -- congrats!!!
Now I better go and search for a suitable (=foolish) birthday e-card to send to you.
Cheers

So...here's the unfinished poem...I say unfinished because I'm considering writing another verse or two to it

A silent plea
Still you depart
As lovers often do
Away from me
My lonely heart
Still wonders if you knew

A longing glance
A fleeting touch
A stolen kiss from you
My heart did chance
For more than such
Because I thought you knew

An aching tear
As you would sleep
And I'd sit watching you
You did not hear
My heart did weep
Yet still I thought you knew

And now you go
It finally dawns
A moment late or two
A bit too slow
My heart responds
Because I thought you knew

The muse struck and then ran away, so the poem needs serious tweaking. This is just the first draft. I will improve it.
Maybe the next time I have a few drinks

the other night

So, about that activity the other night. Hmmmmm yes well.
It was fun in a sort of fun way. Except that the whole reason why I went in the first place was to see my best friend who was supposed to attend. BUT SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP. I was out of sorts all evening because of it.
(Alisa, spankings are in order!!!!!)
But there were a few of my other friends there and it was kinda fun to chat with them. Cept that I'm like one of the oldest SGAs around now. Everyone else (boys especially) are young, very young.
We played some fun games. I have rug burn all over my body from one of them. (Don't ask)
I'm very exhausted at the moment. We came home from our show last night at 3 in the morning and my body wouldn't let me sleep past about 8 am. Very wrong.
Must get to bed early tonight....and dream of hot men or handsome princes who will come and sweep me off my feet and feed me strawberries and champagne for the rest of my days....ahem.
Right
Not

urs truly

Here I am

it's a beautiful day

Such gorgeous weather today. I took a long walk in the park and talked to myself....not. I'm not totally insane yet (I think). Must hold on to some threads of sanity. But it was nice to be out and about. Inokashira koen is really the place for all the Bohemians in Tokyo to hang out at. Went to my favorite cafe with a book and had a pint of beer. Just what the doctor ordered. Freedays are lovely things.
Tonight we head out to Chiba for a YA/SGA activity/dance type thingie. I wasn't going to go. There really isn't much point...but then I thot how patheic I'd feel if all the young ppl go from here (there are 8 of us SGAs) and I was at home alone merely because I was too lazy to get off my butt and go see some friends.
So I decided I'll go. If it turns out to be any fun, will blog about it.
Watched I Robot last night. I kind of enjoyed it, a bit of an away from thinking type movie. The stunts were totally unrealistic. But Will Smith is fun.
I'll have to scope out the last few remaining men folk tonight. Slim pickings and doesn't look very promising. Unless I want to be a cradle robber.
There's always that.
ha ha

oh what a hag I am

It was a good show last night
Beautiful restaurant...out in the middle of nowhere, the stage had very cool lighting and all. The people were great to talk and witness to.
But I had taken too much of my hay fever medication and was feeling really weird all night...kind of detached from my body. I should have known better, but the hayfever was so bad and one just didn't seem to do the trick. Note to self: one or two pills a day, not four.
Sometimes I can be really stupid
Mike and I got super MAD at each other today (for real this time). We always joke "argue" but it was no fun to actually have an argument. We made up tho. So all is good. Thank God
I look really scary, wearing a mask around the house to ward off the pollen...and my eyes are red. I am a hag in the truest sense of the word
And I wonder why I'm still single

ARRRRRGH!!!!!

Today the hay fever is something straight from hell. HORRIBLE. Every year it's like this. I can't wait for the stupid trees to quit spreading their pollen. If you think of me say a prayer, pretty please. It's really bad.

more stuff

We ended our Feast last night. It was rather incredible how smoothly three days of sitting in meetings went. The only "battle wounds" to show from the whole time was an increasing restlessness during the last meeting...and sleepiness as well. But besides that it was very of Jesus.
Our evening celebration was fun too. We followed in the tradition of past TNT Feasts...namely ordering from MacDonalds a bunch of burgers and making a massive amount of fried eggs to put in the burgers and preparing all the other special veggies and trimmings for the hungry masses. Everyone stuffed themselves.
I watched.
It was good.
Mike and I had to lead the activities. We did a few bonding thingies from the GN with the kids but the real fun was later on in the evening when all us big people got back together for more. Lots of beer, wine and fellowship. A great combination. I stayed up until about 3 am talking with Mike and Hikaru. About a load of nonsense, I'm sure. But it seemed interesting at the time. Funny how that is.
I'm on freeday today and am off to Starbucks for word and a little "Niki" time.
There are too many Aries in this Home. I have a million Birthday presents to think up and get. Nick and Vesna's next week.
Oh and on another note:
Note to self: Red wine does not look good on white bathrobe. (I better buy bleach today) Hik suggested I buy a bottle of cheap red wine and dye the whole thing. Hmmmm...no I don't think so.
The intelligence of men

stuff

Al reads my blog (smiles hugely)
I was touched to hear that someone finds me interesting...and Dan too (waves hi to Dan and blows a kiss)
My bread pudding turned out good. I didn't even get a piece. A bit of a miracle because we were having our first Feast meeting and I was supposed to take it out of the oven but ended up forgetting. In the middle of a prayer all of a sudden I get the check that...uh oh I'm making burnt charcoal instead of breakfast and promptly ran to see if my concoction was ruined (as it had been in the oven for about an hour and a half...) But it hadn't even burned. Jesus loves me
Had a long chat with Gene last night over beers and such. I hardly talk to him much anymore so it was good.
Bouncing around to "Lifeblood" with the kids this morning has given me a stomach ache and indigestion. Go figure.

the muse hath hit me

I have actually begun writing a poem...not a very good one, mind you, but one nevertheless. The reason this event is actually important enough for me to note on this blog is that I NEVER write poetry anymore. I used to churn it out by the day, by the bucketful. But that was always when I was in love or going through some kind of traumatic emotional experience...or blissful emotional experience. Words would flow and I felt like a veritable writer.
Not so anymore. I've been going through a dry spell so long I have now begun to think of my mind as a desert. Nothing remotely emotional has touched me enough to write. So you can imagine my surprise when last night I suddenly took up pen and notebook and began composing again.
I think what the poem is about is a long overdue emotional vent from a past love....hmmmm sounds rather pathetic. I'll have to see if it turns out readable. If so, I expect I'll post it on this site. NOT THAT ANYONE COMES HERE OR ANYTHING...
Maybe I should advertise...then again maybe I enjoy the relative anonymity I have here.
Peace...cheers...sigh...I think I'll have that drink.

Today I prepared all day for our Feast which starts tonight. It's been a bit hectic, but am sure the days will be well worth the effort.
I'm tired, but the night is not over yet...must go and prepare Breakfast for tomorrow...lovely bread pudding. I hate waking up early and cooking so I always do it the night before on my breakfast cook days. I hope it turns out edible.
Sigh

New Music

I had been hoping that there would be some new music put up on the MO site...it had been too long. And finally some of the songs I recorded came out.
A great feeling to finally get to hear them. It had been about a year and a half since one of them was recorded, so I had thot it was lost somewhere...but it's there.
Some of the other songs are great too. Chesco's song gives me the chills.

We did a kick ass concert yesterday, our best yet, in my opinion. Mike was a crazy god on the drums and we all sang our hearts out.
It was fun :)

Snow Snow Snow

A white world....snowed most of last night and all morning. It was beautiful for a while. Now it's rather pathetic looking.
I'm low at the moment. Very low
but things can only get better from this point.
I will survive.
I'm lonely