No title

Got a YES answer from the home I asked to join. TYJ! Soooooo Happy! Looks like change is in the air for me pretty soon.

On another note

Funny how no matter how much you want to believe and trust that this time around it won't turn out the way you've been warned....inevitably it does.
Typical

Pass the tissue

Stress Not

Since the new GN I've been majorly convicted about my stress level....and the stressful attitude I often give off. Got the girls here to promise to tell me when I start emanating stress so that I can learn to catch myself and stop, pray, slow down and not forget to breathe.... sigh
I find it hard to be still and calm when I'm in work mode (restless Sag that I am) so I run around on nervous energy and end up stressing everyone else around me.
Must learn to RELAX and TRUST.

Oh and 15 more shopping days....snicker :P (I'm shameless, I know)

Stuff

Spent Thanksgiving down in TJ with the Home there....thanks guys so much for inviting us! It was a very enjoyable time. Got to spend time with some lovely people and sort of relax away from everyday life. Always a good thing.
This was the first year where I didn't have the stress of being "head chef" for the turkey dinner. It felt weird to sit down to a big meal and actually feel like eating a little, as usually by the time dinner comes around the last thing I want to do is eat it if I've been in the kitchen all day.
The evening was fun, games and fellowship etc... and then the long drive back to LA. Thankfully there was very little border traffic so we made it back in about 3 hours.
So that was my TXgiving

Today got up at 6 am, as I did a yard sale...went pretty well, but I'm exhausted now and my back is hurting due to some special numbers I did on it involving moving heavy tables by myself. Yes, I really am that dumb.
What would be perfect right about now would be a massage...and maybe a nice hot man to be the masseuse...snicker....
Oh well, one can dream


...I might have stayed

Thanksgiving

Praise time!!!!
Thank you Lord that I'm still here. Thank you for holding me, for picking up the pieces, for loving me despite myself and my failings.
Thank you that tho I stray and make so many mistakes, fall so short all the time, you never fail to love me unconditionally.
Thank you for the gift of loneliness in my life, as it has time and again shown me that You are enough, without a shadow of a doubt.
Thank you also for the friends and loved ones you've placed in my life, specifically for the new friends you've let me become close to since the big change of my move from Japan. I know that they are each a special touch of your love in my life.
I love you, Jesus, and am thankful most of all for you.
Without you, I am nothing.

And to all my friends, THANK YOU for your love, prayers and for putting up with me and my quirks. I love you all too much

Party Hearty...and be safe MUAH

Disclaimer...sigh

I always get a kick out of the fact that nearly every time I post poetry on this blog I start getting numerous comments from people trying to figure out or thinking that they know who or what was the inspiration behind my writing.
As I always say, poetry is subjective. Most if not all of my stuff is written not necessarily to a person but to an idea, a thot or an emotion that either I or someone I'm close to are experiencing.
All that to say, don't read into what I write too much...or you may find yourself drawing wrong conclusions.
I love you too

I don't know how

Just a little ditty I wrote the other day.....

I don’t know how to love you
And I don’t know how to miss you
I don’t know how to tell you
All I want is just to kiss you

I don’t know how to hate you
And I don’t know how to read you
I don’t know how to keep you
All I know is that I need you

I don’t know how to fix you
And I don’t know how to save you
I don’t know how to hold you
All I know is that I crave you

Yesterday....

Helped out with the JT event yesterday. Went well and was fun.....
I really enjoy helping with the Jt/Teen age group and it was good to be able to spend some time talking and getting to know the teens in the area a little bit better.
Boomers was provisioned for everyone, which was great. I even got to play mini golf (sort of) for the first time (can you believe it) ...suffice it to say I SUCK severely....but who cares. Heh

The new GN Jesus Is Enough is too too good. It came at the PERFECT time for me. Definitely one of my most favorites now.

Give me a sec

Excuse me while I freak out....
I'm going to be 26 in less than a month
That's like....closer to 30 than 20
ARGH

pray for me

When the world has nothing left for me, I still have You and You're all I need.

I feel like I've gone through hell and back emotionally over the last few days. I'm still in the throes of it and praying I can be a fighter and not give up.
I think I could use a hug or six right now...and I'd be extremely grateful for your prayers.....
Specifically:
That I can miraculously find a home, as I've put in my 30 days notice without even having a set place to go to
Against worry and creating all sorts of horrible scenarios in my head that cause panic attacks and all manner of knots in my stomach
That the Lord can help me control my emotions, especially the crying one that seems to have gone off the deep end

I appreciate your prayers more than you know

Yesterday....

Had a fun little visit with my step dad who was passing through LA and had a nine hour stopover ! It worked out for him to rent a car and come down here to see my bro and I.
He's the bestest....I love him to bits.
Went to TGIFs...had good food and BEER :D and then my bro got us into Disney Land (he works there) for a couple of hours. Went on a couple of rides and got to enjoy the BEAUTIFUL decorations....that place is magical, I tell you.... So good to hang out with my family.

2 YEARS

I had huge plans to make a really cool post, but sadly my brain didn't formulate my thots quickly enough.
So all that to say, Happy Birthday to my blog, you are officially two years old as of last night.
Wow. My life's been readable to any and all for 2 years. That's a long time.
I love you too.
Muah

beauty......and Happy Birthday

"There's Beauty in the Breakdown".....ne'er a truer word was spoken
Thinking about the last few days.......I guess I can only smile
It felt so good to just let go


And belated Birthday love and kisses to my dearest Ambie
So so sorry this shout out is two days late, but I hope you got my offlines on the day. I'm praying for you hun and am happy that things seem to be going well for you. I pray this next year is the best yet. I miss you

muah