A Thot

There comes a point in time when spending your life walking quietly on the edge becomes ineffectual and a wasteful use of time.
There comes a point in time when the continual holding back of thoughts and feelings becomes a waiting time bomb that without release will implode and leave nothing but a shattered heart and spirit.
There comes a point in time that the blindfolds have to come off, and the risk of being blinded by the sun is worth the end result of finally actually seeing.
There comes a point in time when this dance we’re dancing will end, the music will crescendo and die, and it will be time to pay the fiddler.
There comes a point in time when fear of the unknown isn’t good enough of a reason to continue riding this current merri-go-round of life as we know it.
There comes a point in time when you just have to close your eyes and jump.

Please make me brave.

a few pics.....

Nephew Noah, so darling


Little Dilly pickle being adorably dorky


Sunday Champagne Brunch

Vacation indulgences

I suppose vacation is a time for indulging in things you can't usually get away with (beer for lunch, anyone??). I've been sleeping in every morning, which is a rarity for me. Ever since I was a teen, even on nights I'd go to bed at a totally ungodly hour, I still could never manage to sleep past maybe 10 at the latest, barring a few freak incidents. I'm just not one of those sleep the day away type people.
For the past week I've been averaging about 9 to 10 hours of sleep a night, which when combined is probably more than I've slept in the past few months. It's really nice to have slept the permanent cloud in my head away. So far I haven't had one insomiac night, fingers crossed for the rest of my trip.
In other banal news:
Currently enjoying my splurge on ice cream yesterday. heh. FINALLY. I figured it is vacation and I'm still faithfully working out (sis has an eliptical machine. YAY) so hopefully I can get away with it and not do too much damage to my diet. (moderation has never been a strong point for me, unfortunately)
Speaking of indulging, last weekend Suz and Jeff took me to this Sunday "champagne brunch" in a little town in New Mexico that was beyond wonderful. Huge buffet and all you can drink champagne or mimosas. It felt so decadent, but so good. They even had seafood, so I was one happy girl.
Pictures were taken and I'll post em as soon as I can steal the SD card from the camera. I really need to get a camera of my own one of these days. Sigh.
Lovin you...muah

I can't think of a title

Pics
1:Not our best moment, but here's the 3 sisters and baby Dillon...he's SUCH a doll...
2:Random Suz and I at Starbucks (frappacinos YAY!)
3:One pic I dug up from the TT seminar. The beautiful Marieanne and I.
I'll be updating with something substantial soon. In the meantime, I'm sleeping better than I have in months, I'm thinking and making some good decisions (I hope), so vacation's been great thus far.

Books....

I've been doing a tun of reading since I got here. The internet's not always cooperative, so I haven't actually been online all that much.
Suz & Jeff's backyard is beautiful and very quiet. There's a set of comfy chairs and I've been holing up out there every afternoon so far, with my book, blanket and sometimes beer (heh), reading and alternately meditating and pondering life surrounded by beautiful scenery.
The current book I'm on was recommended to me by Suz and...wow. It's really really good. Called "Eat, Pray, Love".
Here's a tiny (slightly edited) excerpt from it that stood out to me today while reading:
"Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well -- that would be the end of the universe. But try dropping it. This is the message I'm getting. Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens. The birds do not crash dead out of the sky in mid-flight, after all. The trees do not wither and die, the rivers do not run red with blood. Life continues to go on. Why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why don't you let it be?"

Now that spoke to me on too many levels.

Gulp

It's funny how one little line, one little phone call, one little note, one little moment can change your perspective on everything you've come to know.
Life's too short.
Sort of reminds me of when I wrote this.... except in a less hopeful way.

I'm one day late....

But I was flying all day yesterday and the internet here is flaky at best, so I wasn't able to post this last night...So here we go:

Ode to Michelle.....
There’s a special someone in my life that's having her birthday today.
She’s pretty much perfect. I know no one likes to be called perfect (so much to live up to), but seriously she has the corner on the market of perfection.
She’s tirelessly unselfish. She’s non-judgmental. She’s embodies unconditional love. She’s selfless to her own hurt. She’s beautiful, both inside and out. She’s chop chop. She’s all about the kids needs, but right down to earth when it comes to apple seeds and pumpkin trees. She’s funny, creative, clever and so down to earth. Perfect I tell you.
I pretty much love her to bits and couldn’t ask for anything more in a friend.
Happy Birthday darling Michelle. May this next year bring you happiness, a breather here and there and all of your hearts desires. Thank you for your love and friendship. I love you much more than these few words could ever try to express.

In other news, I'm in El Paso for the next few weeks.
In a funny twist of fate, or should I say luck, my oldest sister Amber and husband Stephen and the kids are also here visiting. Our paths weren't going to cross originally, but we all got lucky and we're having a mini sister/family reunion here. It's the first time to see them in about 3 years, so we have lots of sisterly things to catch up on. Hurrah.
I'm sure we'll take pictures, as it's a rarity for so many of the siblings to be together at once. And it's so much fun to be the "little" sister again. Heh

Here and gone

Honey, I'm home...
Unpacking and packing again at the same time. Nursing a huge sleep debt. By the end of the seminar (yesterday) the whole crash and burn scenario fit perfectly. I'm just hugely thankful that I'm on vacation come tomorrow.
I'm also having my usual freak out session that I always indulge in before flying or any kind of traveling involving going far far away. Funny because I actually love flying, airports, anything to do with travel...it's just the anticipation of all that could go wrong that is a usual sore spot for me before any trip. But yes, I'm sure it'll be fine.
I better remember to recharge my phone before I go, tho, just incase.

I don't think I've ever needed a vacation this badly in my life.

Texas here I come. Hurrah.

Quick update....

Crazy busy as can be at the moment...for some reason I can't get online at the Seminar site, which kinda sucks, so I'm catching a moment at home this afternoon to catch up on work, emails and home stuff...oh and to finally squeeze a workout in.
It's been a lot of hard work, but lots of fun seeing everyone -- almost 200 attendees, almost all of whom are women. Heh. Fun times.
Pray for our strength, the daily pace along with insomnia has wiped me out and it's only half over. PTL, at least vacation starts for me right afterward.

Consider yourself kissed.

Off to the seminar we go heigh ho

TT seminar starts today...I'll probably be offline most of this week, but may have blogging material here and there. We shall see.
I hope you miss me.
Missin you xxx

Currently...

Nursing a vice like headache, achy body and flu like symptoms.
Also being thankful for the bottle of ibuprofen I've been downing.
TT seminar is starting the day after tomorrow. Seems like I'll be spending half my time there helping on staff, and the other half back at home, keeping the "home fires" burning. We'll see how that goes. Am looking forward to seeing some long lost friendlies that are attending. Yay.
11 days til my vacation starts and I'm inspired beyond words about that.
Stephy and I managed to do a US shopping/Foodbank day yesterday without incident, which was a miracle. We had to cross a different border than usual and find our way home from there for the first time without another vehicle to caravan with. I was nervous as neither of us speak Spanish and driving down here always puts me a little on edge. Suffice it to say, our prayer muscles had a great work-out. Heh. But all was well and at least I'm gaining confidence in the driving department.
My mom's been here all week and it's been great having a little time with her. She makes me feel loved. Awww.
Ok I'm off.
Lovin you.

Food for thought

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain
Not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth;
For love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice,
And whoso suffers most hath most to give.

-ugo bassi

Another Birthday

To my bestest childhood friend, Happy Birthday Al. You can't imagine how much I love and miss you. We've been BFFs since we were toddlers, and even though I haven't seen you in forever, nothing's changed on that score. You're the sweetest thing, an incredible mother, funny, witty, mature, BEAUTIFUL and too many other things that would take a million blog posts to expound on.
I was looking for pics of the two of us, but unfortunately when my hard drive died, I lost most of the digital pics I had of you and I together, but managed to salvage this gem from our early 20's...(I think we were about 22 here).... man I'm towering over you. You're so cute and tiny...I love your crooked little half smile.
Have a wonderful birthday, I pray all your wishes come true...I wish I were nearer so I could buy you some of the foodie things on your wish list...You're loved and prayed for on this special day.
How does it feel to be 28? Gulp. Never thot we'd get this old. Heh.
Cheers to you darlin

Things you probably didn't need to or want to know

But I feel like posting, so here you go

I love my black sheets. They make me happy. I think black is my new favorite color. Go figure.
My mom comes in today for a few weeks for the TT seminar, and my little sister is attending as well. Can't wait to see them.
I don't like dogs. At all.
I want to eat shrimp...oh and ice cream.
I've had a headache most of this week. It sucks. I'm not a headachy type person usually.
I'm writing a new song. Something along the lines of "shipwrecked and coming up for air"...we'll see how that goes.
I used to think I was a very open person, recently, not so much.
Vacation in 2 + weeks.
Don't forget to breathe.

Amber

I got lucky in the sister department.... Here's to my oldest sister Amber on her birthday. I love you haney and miss you! Everyone who knows Amber will agree that she is one incredible woman. Such a sweetheart,so much fun. I haven't seen you in ages..weep. I hope you have a fab birthday and a wonderful new year. Prayers and love coming your way xxx

And it's supposed to be October.....

98 degrees out today. Blegh. I need a cold shower...
Or a pool or something.